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 A readers' forum post by carlf on Mon, 10/01/2005 - 11:59 | reply to this comment
 Practical hints for men - don't always explain your reasoning
 A readers' forum post by carlf on Mon, 10/01/2005 - 12:28 | reply to this comment
 Open communicaiton is an important part of a Taken in Hand relationship, but that does not mean that you have to communicate *everything*.
 
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 If you find yourself arguing or trying to defend your decisions, take a step back. If you are sure that you are doing the right thing and if you have listened to her viewpoint, you do not necessarily need to explain yourself.
 
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 In fact, even if you do feel it is appropriate to explain your motives, you might want to hold off until a day or two later.
 
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 First establish that you are making a decision and that it is your role to make that decision. Then implement it. Later on, when things have settled down, and when she can see the situation from a distance, then maybe explain what you did and why you did it.
 
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 This is the essence of leadership: Leaders make decisions for other people. Leaders tell other people what to do. They listen to those whom they lead but, having listened, they make decisions and expect them to be carried out.
 
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 A readers' forum post by carlf on Mon, 10/01/2005 - 12:28 | reply to this comment
 This is so true
 A readers' forum post by Louise C on Mon, 10/01/2005 - 12:53 | reply to this comment
 I realise more and more that spanking is largely irrelevent to our Taken In Hand relationship. It is the psychological control that my husband has that is important in our relationship, his ability to exert authority without shouting or threatening or anything, this is what is sexy, this is what works.
 
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